So the past couple weeks I have had not just my first panic attack, but multiple. Crazy how when you just think about not having them, they show up into the fight or flight.
It all started after running a 7minute mile and walking off my increased heart rate, I started to panic thinking that it wouldn't go away and that I would pass out. Weird right!
Not really, I found out talking to all my friends and family, they have panic attacks all the time. I became very aware of of my panic attacks however and started to evaluate everything in my life as they kept happening.
- First, do I love myself? The answer was, meh. I wasn't doing as many hobbies and wasn't focused on myself even a little. Now that it is winter and snowing, I can't do the things I love outside. I haven't been snowboarding as the travel and the costs just haven't been in the daily plans for a while. I wasn't playing piano, wasn't working out consistently, wasn't golfing, etc.
= What I did to fix this was I reminded myself to do hobbies each day and a lot of them when I can. I golfed in the garage, I shot my bow in the backyard, I worked out hard, I had good conversation with the family, I was just more focused.
- Second, am I loving towards others? The answer was, kinda. I actually found myself more negative towards others like I was better than everyone. This is obviously not true and I found myself getting more jealous.
= What I did to fix this was to say hi to everyone and go out of my way to be obviously nice to people.
- Third, am I working out and dieting? The answer was, NO. I started "intermittent fasting" on accident, as in I wasn't eating until 2pm just getting wrapped up in work and life. This is a terrible habit and I would wait so long I was so hungry I would just go get a chicken sandwich from a fast food place. YUCK. From not eating I would still go to the gym, but I found myself half assing everything.
= What I did to fix this was obviously just stopped eating fast food, ate vegetables, ate quinoa, just drank water, chicken, salads, etc. and worked out really hard.
Fourth, was a happy at work? The answer to this was, YES and no. I started evaluating each client of mine and realized I had a client that was a pain in the "A".
= What I did to fix this was I had to tell this client that things had to change and wanted to communicate better guidelines as I realized I was running his entire business for him which was stressing me out.
Moral of the story, I was having panic attacks because I wasn't working on my balance. I was just going by throughout each day not working on stuff and it caught up to me. Sad that this is your bodies response to sucking, but it sure as hell wakes you up and wanting to change.
Knowing that people are there for me was so comforting and being able to talk about my feelings was key to changing this asap. I still can feel the uneasiness start, but I can tell it to F off and almost laugh it off for it to go away.
Putting labels on awareness helped me and fighting this funk. It helps motivate me to be a better person and a better balanced person.
Today, I rocked all my hobbies and I am so happy now, so I wanted to write this to remind myself how awesome things can be and maybe to someone who can relate, this is what helped me.